So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
