Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Someone came in the potted fern
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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