hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
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