it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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