I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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