So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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