yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
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I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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