please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
