I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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