im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
