A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
