The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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