Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
