you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize