I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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