No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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