I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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