i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
