There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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