I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
