it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize
