..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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