her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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