First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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