one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
