she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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