dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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