Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
