i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
