I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i out mim tonsoeep
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
