If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize