She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
