is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
