On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize