She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Are we still banned from the library?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize