I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is it because I queefed?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
