I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
