i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
