I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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