she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
