So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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