My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
