I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
