I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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