I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Life is so much better after having sex.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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