Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
