ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
