dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?