I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
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I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row