Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?