Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed