he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize