I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
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Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
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Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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