She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
