i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just puked most of my soul out..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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