i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
