somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
