Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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