my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
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no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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