there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.