Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.