If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch